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She spoke her truth, something i have not done. The auditorium in the library was full at first, people trying to find a seat, some to hear the speech, and others just to get out of the rain, but willing to listen to what was being said. The talk was billed as what is the message that the UFOs have for us now. I was curious and i wanted to hear. She talked about visits,of life on other planets, a new teacher for the new age of Aquarius that has come upon us, of crop circles, of different levels of matter, of cover-ups and more, of sharing, of the group she was with SHARE International, of poverty and nuclear waste and while most of what she touched upon made sense it was brought together in what i thought was an incomplete way, one that was forced. 

The audience began to lose interest, and as many removed their energy and attention, i could see her face become duller and her voice begin to sink. but she carried on. And while few probably took her message as a whole, she may have opened minds, and lines of possibility in many. Yes, one man muttered, she is wrong, she is wrong but she spoke what she believed. 

Yesterday, as i went walking, i met two older women on their Jehovah Witness rounds – there was no answer at the door of the home they were knocking on when i walked by, so one of the women spoke with me, offered me a guide to the bible, which i took, and then another booklet which she went over, and which i read. We talked a bit, she asked me if i lived here, and i said no, i am a bit of a gypsy. She smiled and said i used to travel alot, rode the greyhound across and over the land. And i could tell, she had lived, and perhaps lived hard, she wore a dress but it was probably used, and her teeth exposed much gold. Yet, she went door to door proclaiming and sharing what she believed was the way, sharing the message she felt that she was meant to give. While there is much in the Jehovah witnesses beliefs that i believe are constricting and short-sighted, at times their pamphlets have led me to think and question and taken me to the bible and to life questions that are important. And while many may deride them, they carry on. 

And as i write this i think of the man who has stood for years at the cable car turn around at powell and market with his jesus loves you sign. He comes every day to share what it important and to fulfill his mission. 

I write this on Easter Sunday, and i think of jesus, who spoke gods work and did not run away or back down from his call and purpose on earth. Who stepped out of the bounds in the land where he lived, and was persecuted for what he did and preached, who died on the cross for our sins. Who believed, and died for it – and yes, rose again, and whose spirit lives on. And i think what if he backed away or down, or changed his message of god’s love in order to be acceptable? And what if the apostles had clung onto their day jobs and not followed him, for fear of safety, for fear of leaving what was known – or if they had only partially followed – one step forward, two steps back? 

What is Mary did not believe in angels, and could not hear the voice who told her about the child she carried, and lived as a single mother cast out for the child she carried. Or if she did not trust the voice, and dulled herself with drugs, prescription or otherwise, to block out the wisdom from a higher source? What if no one heard their voices and dismissed them as delusions or oral hallucinations. If Paul did not hear his call, and if so many prophets dismissed their prophesies and left them silent. 

I think about the talk today, and how many have been persecuted for talking about UFOs, crop circles and more, have been silenced or have been told they were crazy, and how many others have not believed in their own experiences. for we have been taught not only to disbelieve what we cannot see on the material plane (out of the belief that the material is all that is real) but have also learned not to believe what can be seen, and by more than one. And I think of those who have experienced some of this and have not known how to interpret or be with what they have experienced, and have let it go, or not known what to do. 

And i think of the energy that has been pulsing through me, of the inklings i have had, the visions and the knowings that have come over time, and that i have not embraced, have feared because they were out of the norm. Energy flows in spurts, there is more than meets the eye. A change is coming, we do not truly know when or what it will entail, and there are many around who believe. To follow the knowings, yet share and love in this dimension and not be afraid to embrace what i am being shown. 

I think the issue is that i have held on, and i have not let go. And why – fear of the unknown, fear of being cast out, fear of taking a stand, fear of being deemed crazy, fear of going over the edge. And i look around the room, and see many who have fallen over the edge. I think of my other fears – fear of homeless, fear of the street, but what really do i have to lose?, The reason that i, and others, have lost it all, is not because we let go but because we have hung on to what we knew to be not true, and were afraid to listen. And i will listen with open ears. 

I am in a city with a diversity of lives, ideals and more but also with the concrete blocks the focus on the material, on shopping, on matter. It is a city where many have come throughout time to live out their lives, breaking the boundaries and limitations that held them caged. And i know that there is more than meets the eye, and at times i feel that here has become part of the old, part of the limitations of the material only realm, of staying safe in the world we know. Then i think of the financial district, and the economy, and all they deal with are blips on a screen, the currency of our collective belief, not backed up by anything concrete or tangible. And of communications, of silicon valley nearby, and how we communicate with disembodied others through space and time. 

The lecture took place in the main library with its collection of books and more, a collection of ideas, beliefs, stories, myths, information, data, and knowledge. it is one of the few public places where all may gather, may come to sit and read and explore. it is a place of many voices, written, spoken, muttered, and inside heads – a place where many come in off the street to connect and sit and read. And while there is so much knowledge and wisdom not contained in books, available from the universe at large, i wonder where we would be if people had not pushed through with new knowing, had not pushed through the unknown, had not pushed through through disbelief and doubt, with that which should not be spoken or written, with that which may not be complete or absolute or that which might even be heretical. 

And i think of the woman who spoke today in the auditorium, and the woman yesterday by knocking on doors, and the many who speaks through a sign on the street. They are all speaking of a higher calling, in the manner that is available. Their truths may be incomplete, and contain much which is false, but the speak out and follow their call, a higher call. And for the moment i have spoken my piece, which is partial and changeable and maybe no one will hear, but i have put it out. 

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