Posts Tagged ‘light’

There are times we do not see, walk ‘blindly’ down a street, our minds or our gaze focused on other things that call our attention more. But then in a time of darkness, we see a light, one we had overlooked, rushed by, and failed to recognize. I walked by this mural many a time, but it was on a cold, grey, rainy day that I finally saw it there. Perhaps the grey revealed its brilliance more, or perhaps with the grey that had seeped inside i just needed to see it more.

May all beings ...

“May all beings be well and happy.
May all beings be harmonious and peaceful.
May all have the light, the way out of suffering, the way home.
May we each share our wonderous bright nature for the benefit of all beings.”

It warms me against the chill of the day, lighting the candle that lay inside. I am grateful to all those who add life and art to the cities and towns in this way, painting walls of buildings, and inspiring us, bringing the walls and thus the city to life. The artists are not famous, we may not even know who they are, but those who created this, and other art, shared their light not knowing what lights may shine upon them in return.


It is not only murals that we blindly pass not realizing the magic that is there, but the people we come across, whom we may not “see” or recognize, but who shine a light if only we would see. But like the colours of a mural or flowers on an overcast rainy day, they stand out when we are able to appreciate them most. And like the murals and public art in San Francisco, they are there if only we look, take a moment, and alter our gaze.

I walk on in the rain, feeling lighter than before, with a smile on my face as i remember other murals and people who have lit up many days.

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Joy on a fall day

I feel so happy in this moment, my cup overflowing with joy. I see the beauty that surrounds and feel connected to the spirit in all. The leaves shine brightly on the trees and flutter in the wind on this late fall day. I feed the cycle of beauty through appreciation and gratitude and by sharing that which has welled up inside. The wind blows strong, and just as the trees cannot cling to the leaves that flutter to the ground, I cannot cling to this moment. But just as the fallen leaves nurture the soil in their decay and contribute to new cycles of growth, i know this moment and the ever fading memories of it will nurture me in any dark days that may lay ahead. The moment is fleeting, but it is, and i am so grateful for that light which shines.

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sunburn by the sea

I felt my energy calm when i sat beside the shore in Monterey. A relaxation came over me – one that was deep, cells and tension loosening, loosening. for a while i felt bliss, and energy flowing through, moving out and in and expansion but that has now turned to a blah and sadness, as can be felt upon this page. intensity is gone, and i wonder how that calm – the negative ions of the water, the return to the level of the sea and the softening and looseness is but a part of the spectrum of the lethargy and heaviness that i have experienced in myself and felt in others further up the coast in the rain. Molecules loosen, the vibration slows, and all becomes sluggish, like many of the faces i saw. But for a while it was wonderful, anxiety stripped away, and contentment felt throughout. I felt changes inside, muscles gripping less, face changing – until later i looked in the mirror and it was sad. And now i realize that i spent too long in the sun, walked too far without a repose, and sought merely to suck it in – and i got burnt.

The sun shone brightly and intensely upon the shore. I got up and kept on walking, to the place where the rocks grew more craggly and waves were more intense. i kept going on though i had nagging feelings inside that i should stop – the seaweed at this time of year has turn brown and slimy and most of all it stinks. once again, i found myself without food – unprepared. but i moved on, though the sun was getting hotter about midday – i stopped a while in the shade, no longer at peace, thinking of turning back – but to what and i looked further out and said i must go on. i pushed on, my feet sweltering, and when i got there i felt there was little for me – a more crowded beach with the tide coming in – and where i wanted to be still seemed out of reach. so i turned back – depleted, wondering why i had done this again. i felt the sun upon my back and arms, searing the skin and i could find no shade. later a woman told me i was getting red – back at the spot where i had paused the first time feeling contentment beside the shore – and i felt the burn even more.

And so for the past few days i have been avoiding the light. It has become painful and i wear the visible redness of my folly. And i have not been burnt like this for several years – since i climbed crough patrick in ireland over three years ago – and there like here, it snuck up on me – i was not expecting it and went out unprepared. So now i seek out the shadows and sit inside in the dark. And the next day i did not go where i had been called when i came to this place, or maybe the call was false after all and this was a lesson i needed to learn.
I finish this entry a week after the walk and my sunburn has gone away and the last layer of skin has peeled off my nose. But i still linger in the dark though the sun shines brightly in the day. And i have moved up the coast to another place, a place where i feel the burn is more intense – not on my skin but inside. For i have spent too long seeking out the light and trying to bring it in – and not enough on sharing that which is within. for the ways i have sought have often been only skin deep and temporary. And maybe that is why i cannot ascend a mountain or climb too high, and remain in the valleys of life. Rather than try to glow down here, i have sought out the peaks, and in doing so i lose the light that was inside.

For i remember now sitting on the rocks and feeling the energy pulsing through, listening to sea lions at night, and watching pelicans and seagulls in the day and smiling as children ran exploring the world around, and dogs walking along taking the life in – passing the light through unconsciously, but that seems far away. When i first was there my smile grew and my words grew kind, but then i felt myself shrink inside. Was i unable to transform the light, or was it that it could not enter in through to the darkness inside, my critiques coming up and chasing it away. The sun is pure, but it can burn and the light must be spread around.

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Sun shines today – the solstice has passed – for the next six months the sun’s light will dwindle for us here – though the light does not shift, only our perception of it and its visibility and the need to have faith that it is there. It seems stable for a while, and though days grow and shrink, the shift only becomes perceptible at a certain point, when we notice, closer to the equinoxes, where the half point is achieved. And this year my inner cycle has been thrown off – winter spent further south where the days and nights seem more stable and unchanging, almost equal in their duration. And i think of a conversation a week ago, with someone from the north, dark at 10pm she said – i’m not used to that right now.
The clouds came back late in the day – but i know the light is there, and it shines longer now, longer than the dark – but we always have the light within.

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